Angels Still

there are angels still
though the brightest has fallen
i have found her
still deep on my skin
through the smoke and spilled spirits
she moves slowly
to music i can't hear
that sings in my ear
like her breath.
there are angels still
but here
they've all been prayed to death

she smiles when her eyes meet mine
i feel like i'm wasting her time
some poor mother's virgin whore
for these few moments more
she's all mine
in the blacklight
she seems to glow
i can almost see her halo.
there are angels still
though in the dark
they won't be saving any souls

tonight i sleep
with my shirt on my face
as the only remnant
of her grace
tonight
she will fall
and i will pray
there are angels still.

In Between

In between good and bad
In between dark and light
In between dream and waking
In between wrong and right

I wish I never met you
So I could get some sleep
I wish I could forget you
So I could escape your heat
It's odd what will capture a soul
And sometimes even bind it
It's strange what will distract a mind
And sometimes undermine it
The music of your voice
Is a subtle reluctant spell
My lack of cool conviction
Is a slow and burning Hell
I cannot know the color
of your too-soon tired eyes
If I cannot find the words
To turn them towards mine
Your beauty's only perfect
When I close my eyes
Your words are only poetry
When they come through the lies
I don't know what you do to yourself
That tears at my heart
I don't know how to speak to you
When I'm all broken apart
I wish I'd never met you
So you would stay out of my head
I wish I could forget you
Or just get you into bed
I wish I'd never let you
Haunt me like a scream
All I want to do
Is pull you out from in between.

Dig

Dirt beneath my fingernails
like the thoughts that are left behind
back through a passageway
to somewhere in my mind
where I could try to hide my heart
but for reasons that do me wrong
I prayed you will abide my heart
and sing me your sweet song ...
But I cannot remember
the touch of your skin
And nowhere on my flesh
Is anywhere that you've been
Now Im digging through the graveyard
of what we used to know
and the dirt beneath my fingernails
is starting to show
that no matter how deep I search
there will never be found
anything of you ...
I thought I'd do anything for you
I guess I was wrong ...
Sorry I could not bear the weight
of our burdens
I'm sorry I could not stand up straight
behind closed curtains
if its any consolation
maybe it wasn't worth it ...
Dirt beneath my fingernails
gets in my eyes
when I try to wipe the tears away
that have made me blind
And the dust from my digging
must have blinded you too
for when I reach out I cant find
anything of you ...
Now Im alone
I hope someone finds me
before they fill in the hole.

Rain Coat

I found it in my overcoat
didn't know it was there
it was an old note you wrote
how could I forget?
it was worn and faded
it reminded me of you
almost brought a smile to my face
what am I gonna do?
Covered with your scribbled script
it was a little poem
a short sing-song verse
It begins to rain and I laugh
I used to love the rain
because it falls on everyone
and everbody gets wet
but I don't want to be one...
I must look funny standing here
getting soaked with your note
I used to have an umbrella
until I loaned it to you
and now you're not here
and the rain is falling down...
I get wet too.

One Candle

I light one candle for you
I lay back and watch the shadows
weave patterns on the walls
I like it here in the dark
where I am every cliché
and none of them at all.

I make no ritual of the deal
just one small flame flickering
in the vastness of everything
and in the face of nothing
it makes me feel close to you
though I know I am missing something.

I let my eyes fall closed
I try to dream of you
but all I find is frustration
and distances measured
in emotions we can't reconcile
and too many miles.

I wake covered in the cobwebs
of paths that are left unchosen
They say these candles will burn
for seven days or so
as the wax like my heart
drips down onto the floor.

I make one wish on the dying ember
I whisper a prayer for your heart
and breathe in the fragrant smoke
like the hope
that if I could put it all together
would you light one candle for me too?

- 6.21.03